Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Thin Line

Many ages passed n one thought has remained..
The question of "To Be or not to Be" has a very thin line in between!
We, being humans, search for happiness every moment....
n The paths are accordingly drawn!
what we miss out is debited
n the credits always turn out too less!
good n evil are very unanimous words....
For we fail to decide between bad n worse!
Scope n Hope too have a thin line in between
n Stress n Frustration often win!
Friendship n luv has a thin line in between....
Where a misunderstanding makes the boundaries thick!
Care n force have a thin line in between
n Delivery rules the arena!
Relationships seem a turmoil...
Where the thin line of trust wavers!
Our lives are always between lines....
Where thick n thin have very few choices!
To break the pattern is out of question....
For somebody else makes the blue print!
To give up is the easiest thing to do....
n to fight we have no support!
What are we humans capable of??
If the lines written by Lord are alien!
How much more can one weep?
Wondering about not just his plight but also others!
These thin lines decide our destiny....
n we wonder about everything but them!!!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Stagnant Thought.....

everyday of my life
Just passes by
I donno what am i alive for!
Dreams n destinations, a chase
The heart worries each nite!
How to let go....
Rather..... why to let go???
For other than these...
Nothing is mine!
This beauty is somebody's gift.....
These brains are somebody's donation!
What do I have of my own?
For even my name is borrowed!
Friends, family.......are they mine?
Well, may b if not for me....somebody else's!
I got no character to brag about!
For its in tits n bits!!
Every night the soul cries out for answers....
Thinking of potential answerers!
every body's busy....with their woes..
n others, search for the non-existent hidden lines!
what will I touch other's lives with???....
when I, myself, dont feel alive!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Day after day.....the same story!

Every single day, since ages, this heart has been in pain…
The age increases n so does the remorse!
Forge smiles make their way out the lips,
The pain within…still afresh!
Time never seems to work on the wounds,
They remain exposed for the heart to feel!
Every moment the heart cries for an end, either to the pain or this life!
Nothing seems to help
There seems no cure…
For it seems a vicious circle….that always comes back!
Wonders the heart dreams of...
a life with less, but true smiles!
The realm fades off each time the night falls,
the tension raises the pulse!
Whatever has become of that soul is at disposal,
the language of the heart lost in signs!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Day of the Jackal!!

A guy so perfect.....
was hunted down...
Im so imperfect,
so, will i be spared??
each nite I gulp down the pills....
n await for them to take toll!
Ideas, work scope n desires clog my mind...
I sit upright n write my budget!
The goal now definitely far away
For the yards seem to increase!
The once well planned deed....
Shatters without loopholes
Negativity fills the character
the hand i write!
What has become of me is certainly unknown!
for the past again hurts my nerves!
My day seems to have ended....
The feeling of freedom, now behind bars!
The ache is beyond resistance
the pills dont seem to work!
Silent tears flow down the cheek!
n i wonder wht they were for?!
The Jackal earned half a million....
n im crying abt half a buck!
So much we seem to have in common
For our Destinies share similarities!
I cry each day
hoping to be spared!
This character is worthless...
I wonder what was i earlier!
No clues, no grains, no memories
Of wht was I, that this has becum of me!
One experience, a few months did so much damage!
So much for immunity!
The day of the Jackal seems immensely near....
n I can be saved only by me!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

No exception.....

A lot of us wish to be an exception......n thats no exception!
We dream abt a hell lot of things which according to us wld make a difference.... thats again no exception!

And the case of a person like me who wants to make ppl happy definitely is no exception
! just like "self realization" being the ultimate 'In' thing......happiness is the most sought out thing today...again nothing new!

The best part of life remains...that we do good not to help but in lieu of that praise...consciously or unconsciously! and things seem more of give n take rather than a policy of luv!

I being no exception try n make ppl happy thinking that one deed may seriously make a difference...frgt abt thinking abt the huge plan of getting praise [believe me im very lazy to think abt such huge plans!], n i start waiting for that one joyous moment of smile!
And so it seems that my life revolves arnd the various dreams that rise frm these deeds!

we often dont understand our heart [again no exception] n we ponder..u gt praised, u donno wht to do coz of ur modesty n on the other hand wait to b noticed!
The questions that pop up need an answer, though they arnt any new ones its just that the situations change n the questions seem different in respect of the context!

n sum at that turn of realization that may be i really haven't made any difference in any body's life but i hav decided to stay calm till i do...even if it means running out of their lives!
I'm sure u'll b thinking of me as a lunatic...well thats no exception!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The haunting past!

i donno who or how many read my ys i feel my heart feeling gd after writing!here i am again writing sumthing on this platform hoping sumbdy helps me with a suggestion!
i try hard to let the sand slip thru my fingers!bt each time it only thickens!
i hav never had a gr8 school memory to share, a major part of the school life i had!
i hav always had the times whn i was posed wrongly b4 ppl whether i liked it or not!i've had a bad rapport with ppl i was with...may b coz they thght i was too strict...too reserved or ys...snobbish!i dont blame nebdy...coz i knw they might hav their reasons!bt the fact is....i knw i did no harm....i was expected to be perfect being the monitor n later the head girl at different stages!
n then there was sunshine whn i changed not just my school bt my outlook may b the rosy glasses were'nt rosy enuf!
i was again pushed into that grief of loneliness n remorse!
i cldnt understand...where i went wrong!why was i convicted even after caring n trusting n being friendly!
n even after all these yrs...i may hav bcum more confident n blah blah blah.....
bt the fact is
i still hav a heavy heart!im still stuck!i need a reason....i need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or else i shall always have a heavy heart!