A 3Hr movie called LIFE...........

ever wondered wht it wld b like.........
if life wld be a 3hr movie?

it necessarily not be a happy ending..........
But atleast it wld end!

the drama....the emotion..... the desire..... the pain.....
all drafted to end, scene after scene!

a life breathes wid a dream....
an idea, that wld be the ultimate achievement.....

the desire burns inside u to inspire....
u push ur self to achieve it!

ur movie has ur share of Drama n struggle....
n u go through each scene to reach that "Happy ending"!

BUT DOES 'IT' EVER COME??

how good is one in illustrating each emotion?
how well can 1 write down each emotion?

life gives us various costumes to change.....
for some we are lean n for some we are plump!

we try n fit in anyways....
for the dresses seem so "beautiful"!!

scene after scene, take after take, we patch the make-up....
to look n feel perfect!

we rehearse so hard to give that perfect shot.....
n yet before the camera....we freeze!

ur director wants u to behave...
ur choreographer, wants u to dance to a diff tune.....

all these adjustments for 1 dream!!

ur tears....ur smile....ur fear
nothing is at will but by choice!

ur frame can only be that 70mm screen....
n u portray larger than life characters!

one may get paid for the act......
n everything else..... GOOD-BAD or UGLY is complimentary!

wht all do u give up for ur dream?
U GIVE UP URSELF n u dont even realize!

theres that stage,
where ur reel n real faces look alike!

ur character now wld be a collage
of everything u portray to earn an audience.....

ur life seems to be a specific genre
where one character shade is all u can stick up to!!

that 3hr movie........which u lead shd never have an interval
for that interval is where u loose faith in urself..........n destiny!!

Realization of an expectant heart...........

i rise each day
to a new challenge.....

each moment i endeavor to understand
the pattern of my thghts..........

i know i now sound weird
ppl find it difficult to relate!

i know my love is far more soul piercing...........
my deeds are way too expressive.........

i expect somebody's presence.....
n there are ppl who expect mine!

here i stand with my self in jeopardy.....
for these eyes now seem blank rather than hollow........

i think i know my dream doesnt want me anymore........
i think its only me whos faking a dream world!

may be that wrld is just a wild dream........
my lifes truth.......is the biggest lie!

My expectations as a human......

i look arnd me
i find faces that amuse me quite well......surprisingly!

i knw im quite easy to satisfy
though difficult to convince...

i look through my self..........
find loopholes that yet havnt bn fixed!

i feel weird abt this idea of self redemption......
as if the whole world expects only me to understand n think.....

i agree, "i am" good at useless ponder....
n may be thats why i discover things sooner n act upon!

but now i seek rest....
i want that shoulder to rest my head on......

all these years, ive learnt to be selfless
n i agree on enjoying every moment being this self.....

i know its "hurting" me now....
coz im thinking abt myself now....

but all i ask.......is whether knowing ur desires so wrong??
Is wanting to smile free, so big an expectation??

i know the wrld isnt ready yet to c this face of mine....
especially a face without makeup!

my shoulder isnt aware yet that i need it.....
my support system still is blissfully ignorant.........

i know.....time is all i need....
for all this time along......this line has been the only soother!

my own life, for long has been lived within boundaries.......
n now the walls find it difficult to build bridges!

my trust has always been easily breached........
n i still havnt learnt to judge......

my failure lies in my selflessness
my loophole lies in trusting others!

i lead my life by the moment.....
trying to make it easier to sail thru......

may be this whole idea of a lovable world is a myth.....
n thats why my life as a human is only abt these scars..........

A silent breath!

I look at my palms
i try n read my fate....
i know, not all wld be appropriate....
i still keep my faith intact!

I look at the people who accompany me at each stage....
i look at their perfectly drawn lines in my life!

i often fail to understand.... why does destiny put me in such a situation......
where i have nothing to offer but silence...............................

not all, ofcourse, get a happy ending......
but why shd i spread tears?

is being clear cut in thghts so wrong?
why is my selfless love exposed to free analysis?

why is the notion of a deep thght so hard to understand............
why do i have to hurt ppl wid my love!

is it rite for me to fade away???
AM I ON THE RITE PATH???

all my life i was taught only to spread smiles....
n today those same eyes hide tears inside..........

is it appropriate for me to fade away?????

to face hardships is human fate....
my motto has been to ease off the burden......

but may be i myself donno my limits....
i may be often forget "im human"!!

every breath of mine today is in jeopardy....
i hav nobody to speak up to.....

my life has always been in troubled waters....
ive taken those ripples as a pleasure!

every breath of mine today seems a debt.......
for the ones i love the most.....cry coz of me......all in silence!!!!!!!!

MUMBAI..MERI JAAN!!!!

endless reasons; numerous fears....
still...... I love the city!

I may not like the system...
I may find it difficult to adjust!

These dreamy eyes often breathe
when they rest on the seashore!

My life seems to come alive
when i feel the waves!

those crowded streets.....
those unknown staring eyes...
those questioning expressions.....
make me feel at home!

i dont yet understand my love for this life....
i know Im yet n still quite vulnerable!

I still always skip a heartbeat at the mention of its name
i dream to accomplish here!

My destiny often teases me
i fight my fears to be brave!

I imagine the Marine Drive.....
I rest my aching heart wid the sun set!

My craze never seems to rest....
Even as i acknowledge the merciless eyes!

I am connected to u, my dear city....
For u r my birth place....
N I only breathe ur spirit in my character!!!!

A world called a DREAM..........

the idea of a perfect life differs from one to another...............


when is life tough?
wen does survival seem tough?

i ask my self n remain silent!

"it was a dream..............
it was..........my world!"

coming back to a house of smiles
coming back to lovable arms is a dream!!

more than often, do these expressions meet irony...........
my ppl fail to b a part of my world!

i try hard to focus the day light
i need them to feel the warmth!


a world worth infinite smiles await them
but well, they are busy with woes!

each day i c the ocean getting deeper,
the scars.....becoming more prominent!

whtever i am today, is coz of them......
n well 2day their smiles are a distant dream!


life.........n its irony!!!!
we loose faith just one step b4 victory!


My time unconsciously is all theirs......
My thghts always "are" with them!

They realise this little
They only feel my lacking physical pressence!

The smiles that were once determined to spread
now shout aloud to me to be away!

atleast may be then wld my dream continue.......

an endeavour is all thats req
u need to make constant efforts to polish ur relations!

if those who constitute my world arent together...................
there WLD BE NO ME!!

The tears of emotions.................

A long time ago did i hear.................
"emotions dont follow logic"............

the more we humans try to control our emotions
the more we slip into the well!!

these emotions being the very basis of our survival teach us a lot
we almost go thru every disaster thanks to them!

being unheard is the most common dread that we suffer!!

how many of them, do we hear???

agony gets in our way to liberation
we hear more hatred n c less love!

how long do we intend to crib??
how long wld the torture keep us alive??

i look into myself to find my feelings dead
mayb now all im good at, are wrds.....

for every emotion today is a feeling of the past
my emotions today are aggressive but bland!

i may be gettin good at faking myself as an emotionally attached person
i feel strongly for ppl but actually feel nothing!

as if my compromises have bn made.............
as if my idea of liberation has bn met!


i dont deny caring for ppl
i respect my desire to keep ppl happy!

but i fail to make ppl feel better
they now, more often miss my point!

my idea of happiness today varies
i live by the moment!

my life isnt a bed of roses
but neither do i feel the thorns!

i still live for others
i still strive for their happiness!

whtever i write 2day is a bag of mixed emotions
my present............compares me to my past!

ive gone thru a lot of changes
as if a "been there done that" feeling is all that is left!

my tears 2day are weirdly uninvited
my emotions 2day are hollow!

for i dont feel the pinch of love
but words filled with pleasure surround me!

these tears once were my identity, my feelings............
today............ just another expression!!

The erratic lines.....................

"Dedicated to a dear frnd who taught me a lot!"
in my words n my style, im trying to c how well can i describe wht i c him as!



i look into my palms........
i c lines drawn by destiny!

wht i write...............may be indirect...
wht i feel.......is directly from my heart!!

they say....a mans destiny is his own....
he makes or maars' it on his own!

take a look at me to feel how true it is!

my palms once soft
today are filled with scars of experience!

i breathe in an air filled with mixed emotions!
these eagle eyes.....have a shadow of love with hollowness!

i have time to attend to ppl
but fail to attend to my call!

these palms have several lines to keep them company
i search....... for my soul mate!

i dont regret.... i dont remorse!
for proud am i of wht i am n have become!!

this heart still has a lot of space to rent.....
though it may be a little less expressive!

My deeds may not be explicit
but give them a thgt to feel wht they were abt!

The self has a lot of shades......
Its the observers' wish to read wht they plz!

Im bound only to love.....
n ppl binding to me is purely their call!

the magnetism of my presence is felt by those
who possess the heart to bare my burst!

through the years ive seen myself change
the rock now has a few stories carved on it by time!

every sigh n every laugh has a note
my feet dance to only my tunes!

i am self content...........
but am open to shower the magical touch!

look into my eyes to feel life
take my hand, to take a trip of paradise!!

the urge of my desire keeps me going
I breathe my dream every moment!

The dark side of the moon doesnt blind me......
i manage to surpass the eclipse!

My longing eyes do not restrict my dreams
For i let go of the sand thru my palm, by my choice!

these erratic lines tease destiny
n i live each day by the moment!

If life is wonderful only when one smiles..........
I beg to differ to say..." Life is itself a wonderful gift that one understands the worth of a smile
after a tear n the worth of a tear after smiles!!"

Life between the barbed wires.....................

We as humans drew boundaries
n supposedly safe guarded them with barbed wires
the thorns were never meant to hurt till u dont violate
they are harmless if u got the point!!

we as humans are suppose to be intellectual
we are better analyzers
the idea of making these boundaries have different opinions
the idea of limiting what God gave us as a gift, still remains unattended!

Look into ur soul
feel the reality

Look into urself
attend to ur drawn boundaries!

Ur every action is limited to a specific notion........
Even ur Love, is measured!

each line that u speak......
has to have several lines in between....
as if words clearly spoken....
are too complicated to be accepted!

We as humans....love n enjoy freedom....
But unknowingly crush smiles under various social names!

wht have our lives become??
why are v 2day so robotronic??

every breath of ours is owned....
coz we are use to being ruled!

the rain no more is a pleasure.....
it no more is a reason to dance!

hope 2day, is only the last thing that came out of Pandora's box......
nobody 2day wants to work towards betterment!!

why have we accepted being this way???????
is there no way to cut thru these barbed wires??

cant we actually enjoy n flourish wht the Lord gifted us!!

the Clash of a blood line

We started the journey as one..........
we diversified into different streams with course of time

the school of thght had a charm..............
with the same basics but exciting views!

each encounter was a wonderful journey....
each note a new milestone!!

with the division of the realm, we all got our slots......
some by choice n some....destiny!

yet the hearts beat on one beat
we all stood together tall!

The love of the soul never reduces
it only thickens n gets stronger!

the realms turned so luring
that we forgot to drops the bread crumps!

we are one.............
we have a heart alike!

each day now we try hard to adjust the light
we try hard to tell each other that we wont give up!

as tears roll down the cheek, i write
my love today finds no routes to reach them!

why am i so out numbered?
why am i misunderstood?

why am i not seen in light?
dont i deserve to love them akin????

Open Palms..................

My grip was may b too good............
The sand slipped through quite well

The hands once again are filled with the surrounding air
i have nothing new, but what nature offers!

I held on to something knowing it was fake
My optimism surpassed logic!

For once i defied my laws
Knowing that i wont get a bail!

call it fate or ignorance
i let it take over............

the sand never realized the touch of the palm..........
the skin was always an alien!

my palms feel the hollowness of the soul.............
as i c the oyster flow with the current!

wht the sand wondered is still hazy....
the particles though now are stuck to my palm

it may take time to have a clean hand again
for its not that easy to let go!

I realize wht happened had my bit of mistake...........
I search for a remedy!

may be sometimes things need not be confronted with determined notions....
may be sometimes u dont need to put ur soul in!

i stand at the sea shore with my palms open..........
I try hard to let go of the sand!!

Impression by the minute........

i knew a soul all this long.....
a soul that breathes aloud!

i c its different shades all together
I c something ppl blissfully choose to ignore!

wht shd i tell it abt wht i think.....
for speechless am i by its aura!

something majestic...... something strong.....
a feeling of being safe gaurded by it all along!

its smile wld say so many things.......
those eyes....so intense!

sometimes the world seems so normally balanced....
n sometimes it swipes me off my feet!

I feel the urge to listen to it timelessly
I feel as if im just a spec!

It tries to bring out my old self........
But i enjoy noticing it n uttering less!

the moment its away frm my eyes
i feel an urge to hold onto it!

sometimes i ponder if it sees wht i c
for clueless am i of wht it thinks!

i want to hear so much.....
i want the music to be on for ever!

i like being overshadowed by it.....
i like being under its warmth!

so much to say......
so much to confess!

Time never permits the day to b long enuf......
making me crib for an extra minute!!!

Words Unspoken.........

i lost myself to a new realm...............

a place so luring!

i found a new world in the eyes of a passing cloud.........

i got drenched by a passing storm!

the spark ignited a new hope.....

a hope, im ready to live forever!!

the life of a wanderer saw light in these smiling eyes........

eyes....... that looked back at me with an interest!

an unknown aura surrounds me now......

where clueless am i of its acceptance.............

donno what that realm seeks in me....

im not quite sure if i fit the bill!

i may be rejected this earthly heaven....

i may never be able to feel this magic!!!

but ready am i to take this plunge..........

surprisingly without expecting an acceptance!!

what scope does this spark have.....i wonder

for a world unknown awaits!

i reject the pleasures of this lively world

waiting for an answer from a dormant fire!!

i sometimes startle reality by my determination......
n sometimes wonder why to go thru this pain!

the magic of that one enduring look inspired me to live again
the hostility of the looker fills me with painful questions....

who deserves what is not for us to determine.....
but loving unconditionally is in our hands!

misunderstood am i at every level.......
sumtimes the scope of it surprises me!

reality isnt shared with me...
as i aint lucky enuf!

the heart still awaits those unspoken words......
for i cant fake my own self!!

this dream once seen may never be true
but whats true, is that it was once seen!!!