Thursday, September 20, 2018

The dark cloud!

when your world seems so dark
that the light doesnt reach your eyes
the heart cries with all its might
to clear the smog 
for a single ray

that negative realm hurts you so deep
that u loose perspective
of your own character
everything unnecessary clouds your mind
leaving you in so much despair!
people blame their stars and the moon
while only trying to get over this night 
n feel the dawn.....

its so sad, that sometimes love isn't enuf,,,,,
its so sad that all hope seems lost just at the end of the tunnel!

expectations by character are always overrated....
we always doubt the delivery 

u doubt urself
u doubt ur Gods!
And anger n frustration is all thats left of u....

people start to wonder whats eating u up.....
u unable to explain thats inside of u!

nobody wants to b sad....
nobody wants to feel devastated!
nobody wants to b asked 'why u dont smile often now'

its mayb bcoz we set some standard of expectation that just got shattered!
its mayb bcoz somebodys efforts were long due n now they seem too late!

sometimes its difficult to c the simplicity of the situation.....
to take that deep breath..... to give urself another chance!

there is so much negativity already around us
that we dont need any newer reasons to feel this way!

we all have our burdens on our souls...
we all have been taken for a ride for our heart!

but still.....
despite this....
im sure we want to be our loving selves again....
be silly.... be weirdly innocent n surprise ourselves
Give ourselves another chance to b happy



Tuesday, July 03, 2018

The truth of a relation

what lies in your heart
is a mystery that only u hold the key to!
The world sees u as a different person
And u may claim to b a different one

the various levels of disclosure of ones character
depends on how much one decides to showcase

And thus I'm set to believe, no one truly knows anyone!

U may live with that person for a lifetime
n still that person may b an alien!

there are no levels of trust that are definite
no level that u say can determine what u mean to somebody!



Thursday, December 14, 2017

Cluttered

Being the superior being has its own challenges....
so much to process, so much to accept...
so much to worry about....
that we often forget the simplest pleasures of being alive!

I often find myself staring into space,
With no specific answer as to whats running in my head...
A monotonous life, tries to break free into a realm that's unpredictive...
N on the contrary, unpredictive situations make me yearn for clues...

I see others, and like most of us, the grass seems greener to me there..
Though I'm aware that maybe their lives have their set of challenges that are much more difficult

My nature makes me drive myself to do something that relaxes me...
my time and strength, alas! leave me drained....
My brain seems to be processing so many things at the same time
that sometimes im tired of giving reactions

My multi-tasking abilities are put to test each day....
A mom, home-maker and a desperate desire to b an identity... are tearing me apart!

Time asks me to be patient....
My priorities remind me time and again...

I await my time,
for it was my choice to set these priorities
and that is all i remind myself of....

The heart yearns for a console 
My pals who are so far....

Life and its challenges always seem small when u see others and their suffering
But the answers to my queries are still out there...

This clutter sometimes gives me an ache...
But things are always cluttered till u dont unclutter them.....



Tuesday, September 30, 2014

An Inspiration to write about!

Traditions mark our life....our beliefs and they are the actual hand-me-downs that we shall leave behind for all eternity!
while todays super-fast paced life leaves little room to ponder on the very notion, I truly enjoy the gift of noticing and thus cherish what others have to offer!
Being Navaratri, n us having a handful of people to invited and get invited, we visited Arvind's aunts place today....and what an experience it has been!![me writing this post says it all!]

When u enter the house, the first thing that strikes u are the pieces they use to decorate their home...One can immediately imagine the extensive travel they would have done, and the eye for detail the lady of the house posseses, as there are just so many diversifying show pieces, paintings and other hangings!
their entertainment centre plays home to almost a 100 different show pieces inclusive of soft toys and some beautiful family moments consisting of them, their children n their spouses and finally their grandchildren....

All this information only increased my curiosity about the kind of golu i would get to c today[this being my second visit there overall], and were we amazed!

the best part of it being the fact that though many of the pieces may be usual, their arrangement and their preservation through these years makes them truly beautiful....

The Golu.....

 The First step has Valli and Murugan along with a kalasham[their tradition]. the second having Alamelu Mangayar and Lord Balaji along with two dolls of the Kanchi Periyavar of whom they are devotees along with interesting tulasi madams....
the third has Marapachi dolls along with others icluding the guruvayur elephants.
The forth having the Ashta-Lakshmi dolls.


the Fifth step had an amazing Gowmata figurine that ive hardly seen in pictures...along with Lord Ganesha, Goddess Saraswati and Lakshmi, along with Dashavatar.
the latter step had the Chettiyar-Chettichi and a wedding scene....

on one side on the floor was a scene of a field...and another was a very unusual scene of a church with Christmas decorations....
and the decorated lamp[Villaku] just added on to the beauty.


 The side of the step had a small platform for Radha and Krishna with a beautiful toran mandapam of the Goddess herself overlooking!

what struck me most was the way the steps were decorated, with a huge Lord Balajis wall hanging on the top, the toran and most of all little pieces of christmas tree decorations mixed with the garlands and lights on the side.
Another interesting piece was the battery lit diya, that came all the way from the U.S to decorate the golu.....which were lighting up the steps quite brilliantly!
 The Pujari itself had 3 miniature golu steps that she had decorated with beautiful golden studded Gods and Goddesses.....
 Niyant with both the grandmoms...

 A beautiful Guruvayur piece in the living room
 Niyant enjoying the decor and last but not the least...Myself n Perima!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The new face.....

life has turned me inside out...
where each day i c a new side to me...
some are surprisingly positive...n some surprisingly not...
never the less, i should admit....they are a spec of me!

something today just struck me...
after all these years...
i finally have a little pious soul looking up to me with lovely eyes...
who looks at me n wonders...whats he gonna observe today...

that experience of having inquisitive eyes...
that smile at me with wonder...
made me feel a sense of responsibility.....
As if each moment I should watch my move...

As if its crucial for me to scrutinize myself, before i make ne moves.

Lifes given me a palette of experiences,
which today define me..
The good, bad and the ugly...

but no matter how hard i try, i some how am unable to keep the bad n ugly out!

Its important that i make my atmosphere friendly..
Its important that i make sure my heart stays pure..
For i know n believe that its upto us to take negativity in or out....

Today, i stand at cross roads where my own beliefs mock me...
as if they tease their very existence in me...
n that i have set out to preach!

There is so much that i wanna get back to...
to keep my peace within me...
But i wonder if thats possible..
coz tide and time wait for none...n im wondering if my time has slipped away??

This new face, has put me into a soul searching quest...
wherein all i know is that i need to triumph with my positive best...
coz i cant preach what i dont believe....


Saturday, January 28, 2012

What more?

no matter what i do,
i never feel as if ive touched the mark........
no matter how hard i try, im made to feel inadequate!
my smile never lasts no matter how much i stretch my lips
my tears see no end as if the supply is unlimited...

i really dont understand the reasons though....
for all of this emotional turmoil.....
i fail to understand wht more i need to let go of...
my hands are already empty!

even after being surrounded by so many ppl...
im made to feel lonely...
why is my fate such.....is a question unanswered!

i try n satisfy my heart with what ever i have...
n still im made to feel empty!

i donno what more to do....
to deserve a smile thats worth Me!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Silence in the Heart!

Ever felt the silence that prevails inside ur heart?
A feeling that stands stagnant admist the chaos?
A pinch that makes u feel that words are a pain....
A pain....u've long felt n bred on!

Surprisingly, i used to feel it quite often earlier.....
I think i off-late had started over looking it...
n suddenly today....ive been re-acquainted to my old friend...
A friend who,  i thought, brought me peace!

i some how now, have realized my world other than people
whom i gave the importance they hold today!
Ive come face to face with my reality...
that i had long forgotten drowning in bliss!

The happiness i hold in my heart....
as if is my treasure...
a treasure i thought i cld share...
a treasure i realize, nobodys interested in!

the people i held as the center of my world,
were ppl who demanded their freedom....
People, who after being freed look at me with inquisitive eyes!

I know that not every choice i make is my own....
I do what people want me to do!
N im forced to often wonder....
Why am i to bear its consequence there after??

N after all that drama, I manage to find peace in fate...
forgetting that this chaos wasnt mine...
but admitting that it now is a part of my life!

With all the hyper energy around me,
I am reminded, that I am responsible for my peace....
Even if others interfere!

I may sometimes dim the spotlight on others....
focusing on the self now
for i have just realized how important i am to myself....
that there will b no me....if im not taken care of!

Ive learnt through time to let go of things
that dont want to be a part of my world....
I am learning to expect less from others...
I am starting to appreciate the beautiful Silence that my heart holds!